I get a lot of letters from people who have always fantasized about being in the industry but have been intimidated or are unsure how to go about it. I'll tell you as much as I can.
First, check your local paper to see if any of the clubs in your area are advertising. They usually are. You'll probably find it under 'D' for dancer or 'E' for entertainer. Call and find out when they hold auditions and what their rules are concerning apparel. Some require cocktail dresses while others don't mind if you dance in a half-shirt and cutoff jeans. Some have rules about the type of shoe you can wear, because shoes with metal heels can damage their stages and make them dangerous for other dancers. That's also a good reason to put lotion on no less than one hour before you go onstage. One little bit of lotion could cause another dancer to slip and fall.
Visit the bar once or twice during the shift you want to work before you audition. Go to the ones that have the best reputation first if you can find out which ones they are. Take a supportive friend or two. A lot of clubs won't let you in unless you're accompanied by a man. It sounds strange, but they're trying to protect themselves from liability for prostitution taking place on the premises, and if women who don't work there can come in and out at will and leave with anyone, their safety is compromised as well. Most women are smart enough to know that walking to your car alone in the parking lot of a strip joint (or anywhere else, for that matter) after dark is less than wise.
Talk to the dancers who work there. Bring a little bit of money so you're not wasting their time. The good thing is that female customers usually use the same ladies' room as the dancers, so you'll get a chance to chat. It's considered rude to ask them exactly how much they make, but they'll tell you if they're satisfied or not. Look at what they're wearing, and watch how they make their money. Some places the dancers make it all on stage. Other places depend more on table dances and lively conversation.
Watch how the dancers move. Even really good dancers have to make the transition into the world of erotic dance. Strippers place their centers of gravity lower as a rule, and tend to lead more with their pelvises. You'll get the hang of it once you recognize the difference and observe it for a little while. Practice in the mirror.
The shoes take a little getting used to as well. The night you start work, make sure to have a bucket to soak your feet when you get home. I recommend taking an anti-inflammatory a half hour or so before your shift.
Ask the dancers where they get their costumes. Some have favorite stores, and many lingerie stores actually give discounts to dancers. Many clubs have costume people that come once a week with their merchandise. You'll need to have a thong. Most dancers call them 'T-bars,' and they're wider than G-strings, which some topless clubs won't allow. It should be made of a sturdy, opaque material. Black is a good color to start with - especially because you'll be working every week of the month, if you get my drift...
In deference to necessity and at the risk of indelicacy, I'm going to bring up the subject of the… um… 'nether coiffure'. Most dancers trim their bikini lines to one degree or another. I only bring it up because it's illegal in many states to show even one stray hair, and so dancers tend to keep the hedges carefully trimmed, as it were. Get a really nice shaving gel to start with, and a razor with some kind of safety feature. That's not an area where you want to take any chances. Allow yourself at least 45 minutes the first time you attempt this. You don't want to rush. Find a position where you can comfortably reach all the areas you want to shave, and if you can, put a mirror so that you can see the area in question from more than one angle. I prefer to stroke the razor diagonally to the direction of the hair growth. Rinse the razor often, and use a fresh one frequently - at least every two to three shaves. If your hair is particularly long or coarse, you might want to cut it down with a pair of scissors (carefully, carefully) before you start in with the razor at all. Don't neglect the area you can't see above your inner thighs. After you've rinsed and patted yourself gently dry, use baby oil, lotion, or an antibiotic cream (preferable to ointment) on the newly defoliated area. Depending on the humidity in your part of the country, you may want to finish up with a light dusting of baby powder. You may think of using feminine deodorant spray, but there's controversy over whether those are good for you (apparently not very tasty, either, if you catch my meaning - probably not best before hot dates).
Now you're ready - as ready as you can possibly be for the amazing, life-altering adventure on which you're about to embark. Brace yourself for things both wonderful and awful, remember that the things that people say reflect on them, not you, and keep your wits about you. You're joining an ancient and noble sisterhood, and transforming yourself into one of the most compelling women on earth - an actual sex goddess. A conduit of pure, undistilled creation energy. Women are exquisite, rarefied vessels - vast reservoirs of a boundless sea of erotic abundance. To share it is an amazing gift. Remember that, and do your job with dignity and reverence.
Good luck, Sister.
Still have more questions? So did others.
Feedback is nice. That way I know what I need to explain in better detail and what I left out.
Auditioning:
It's not like auditioning for theatre or talent agencies. In most clubs there's no special private time. Auditioning means going into the club where you want to work, usually during the slow afternoon hours or right before opening in some cases, and going onstage to do a set. It's a lot like teaching someone to swim by throwing them in the deep end, but remember, this isn't nursery school. Fortunately it isn't rocket science either. This is why I recommend spending an evening or two in your prospective club to watch what other girls are doing and wearing. Come prepared. You ought to have an audition outfit, and it should be like the things you see on the other dancers. Also, in most clubs you can't wear your street shoes onto the stage, so have a pair that you use just for auditions. I've mentioned it before, but if you don't heed my words you'll be very, very sorry: BREAK THEM IN AT HOME OR YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THE TRUE MEANING OF MISERY.
When you audition, don't be nervous. Strip bar managers are used to beautiful, awkward girls. They're looking almost entirely at how you look and come across. If you have 80% mobility, you can learn the art of erotic dance, at least well enough to make a living at it. Some of the best strippers I know are the worst dancers. Great dancers add something wonderful to their show, but lots of lovely creatures with no rhythm but lots of allure and drama make a killing. No one element makes up a good striptease, so anyone who lacks some of it can make up with more of whatever they've got. Really.
It's scary the first time you take off all of your clothes in front of a roomful of people. I imagine it's a little like skydiving (and am absolutely unwilling to find out for sure), with the adrenaline and the exhilaration. If it goes well, you can actually feel a little of the burden of worrying what society thinks of you lifting away and being replaced with new freedom and self-assurance - and perhaps a bit of wildness, too. Throwing away such a powerful (but silly) convention of society provides Instant Emancipation from a great many things.
One more thing: not all strip club managers are as nice or as ethical as the ones I've been lucky enough to work with. The important thing is to let them know at the beginning that you're not going to be pushed around, manipulated or intimidated. If that creates a conflict, you probably don't want to work at that club anyway. People in positions of power who wield it unfairly certainly aren't exclusive to the adult industry; they exist everywhere. Just keep your eyes open.
Costumes:
You'll find that normal underwear (even really sexy stuff) isn't quite right, although it's more acceptable in some nude clubs. Strip clubs have fashion, too; it changes just like 'civilian' fashion and mirrors current trends. Regular panties aren't really flattering when you're trying to dance and they're not very durable. Also, if you're working topless you'll find it has many disadvantages: the material is too thin and shows too much. It also tends to become less opaque as you sweat, if you'll forgive my indelicacy. Not only that, but lots of material that's pretty when you buy it looks entirely different under red and black light, and things that look like they match end up doing it not at all. You want good, thick thongs; you'll appreciate the sense of security. Ask the dancers where they buy theirs.
Breast Size:
Not as important as you might think. Yes, the girls with big fake boobs always make more money than everybody else, but it's because they're very specific fantasy material and don't look like 'real' or 'average' women. They've gone into this profession and become specialists, in a way. Even a customer who normally gravitates toward a totally different type will often get a dance from the amazingly endowed girl just for the experience, which is why they make so much money. You don't have to alter your body or even have naturally large breasts to succeed as a stripper. I've known beautiful girls with no breasts to speak of - nipples on ribs, as some might say in vulgar terms - who made a killing.
People go to strip clubs to look at lovely women. Each person has a different idea of what that means. Beautiful legs, beautiful asses, beautiful tummies, beautiful necks - each woman is exquisite in her own way, and there's always someone who appreciates it. That's something that most people don't realize about strip bars; that the mainstream, checkout-stand media tends to gravitate toward one type of thin, regular-featured, airbrushed prettiness, the definition of which is very narrow. Walking into a club after that is like having eaten the same bland (though palatable) diet day after day and then walking through a farmer's market or a huge buffet. Suddenly the possibilities of feminine attractiveness are visible as they truly are: endless. Many dancers don't fit the mold of conventional attractiveness at all. It's amazingly empowering to see how alluring all women can be.
The exception is some of the really upscale clubs in the larger cities, where the house mother checks your hair and nails, tells you to lose 5 pounds, to lighten your hair, and that you need to iron your outfits. Some places hire dancers like they're casting a Broadway show and won't hire you unless you look like a model, but those are few and far between. You'll be able to tell the first time you walk through the door.
Age:
I've known girls who started at 30 and ones who flourished at 45. If you ask younger dancers you'll find that some will disagree, but I think they probably won't as time marches on. If it's something you've always wanted to do, then do it, by God.
"I think I can do stage work, but table dances seem scary. Can I be a stripper without doing those?"
Well, you're welcome to see how you fare just doing stage work. No one will force you to do table dances, I suppose… although I certainly wouldn't mention your reservations during your initial interview. It does seem very strange, almost like being a vacuum-cleaner salesman who doesn't want to go door to door. My instinct is to say that after you work there for a bit you'll get used to it and realize that it's fine. I don't think of stripping as something you can do halfway. If saliva makes you sick, don't go into dentistry. That's why I can't stress enough how important it is to go to the place you want to work and watch other professionals doing the job you want to do. It's really fine. It just takes a little getting used to.
For Private Dancer Monthly, 2002
Copyright 2000 - 2009 Alysabeth Clements
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